Tales from a Life called College

“I sang, like nobody was listening, I danced like nobody was looking, and I lived like there was no tomorrow…..”

It was the year 2001, the year after the millennium, new life, new beginnings and most of all, am now a grown up lad who is just entering college and there’s was no other better thing more awe inspiring than that thought which now tells you that your not a school going kid anymore…

Gone are the day’s you play writing on the benches, standing on the benches for punishment or getting your diaries signed by parents for your remarks… Those days were long gone for me now…. University life is a special one, I knew I was going to learn some of the most important things in life right here, meet a few people who will influence me the rest of their lives, and most of all live a life, which I would never get to live again……

Spent the first few weeks, telling my elder sis how life is back in college, everyday when I got back from college, I saw her in the kitchen busy making dinner for the day, I kept telling her about the new friends I made, and also told her how I’ve now become the class representative, my responsibilities and my duties…. For me it was a time as new as a new rise dawn… Every morning when the sun rises, I caught the 6:15am train, and for all those 4 years, this became one of my most cherished moments of my life, as those rails zigzagged, they not only crossed stations, but in time, they also changed and crossed my memories of how life changes with every step in time.

The Tale of Mistrust

It was in the first week of college, it was a busy day at class, all of us who became friends, were seated on the first two rows in class, and were busy looking at the Math class, while I was looking out at the window, when I noticed a white ambassador car rolling into the college gates, and stopped a few yards away from our class. I didn’t stop looking, but just waited to see who was coming out…. And out she came, colored as a butterfly. The moment I saw her I liked her…!!! She walked a few yards and then disappeared from my sight, I kept thinking, who she was, and where did she go, when I lost thought and looked at the black board, I heard a voice call “Excuse Me” and the whole class looked at the door, and it was her !!

My friends noticed that I was going delirious and not soon, they found out that I was very much interested in her, and for me, it was an emotional moment, after so many years, someone has finally managed to fly a few butterflies in my heart…By the next evening, I found her name, and by a few days, we even started talking, and by a week, calls kept running in and out of our houses… As soon as I got home, there was a call waiting on the landline and just the thought of her used to make my heart tumble a few times. We became so close, and I even stopped going with my friends in the regular route bus, thinking it was still the best to go a few kms extra just to make seat with her or sit next to her… We talked and talked like there was no tomorrow, and a year passed that we were so close like never before.

Our trust, our emotions, our understanding & our faith was sky high, when one day she came to me and asked the most painful thing I could ever be asked by someone who I trusted that much. She broke my heart just so that she could make her friend happy. I sat there broken, and withered with low torn emotions, and all I had was 4 pairs of hands on my shoulders. I looked up and I saw my friends. For the rest of the 4 years I sat with her, beside her, and even looked at each other, but never spoke a word with her ever after.

People break your trust now and then – Trust them Anyway…

The Tale of Loss

I never knew time was running this fast, it was already second year when they split the classes and my best of friends were no longer in my class, as they had all separated to their assigned branches. There was a silent guy in the other class, the only times I see him was when I go into that class to call my friend for lunch. He was a fairly well looking boy who had all the taints of becoming a good engineer, and I knew he was surely working hard on it. Times went by, when I got to know more and more of him, and from my friend I knew he was a nice little fellow to keep talking to. I had only a few incidents I can remind myself of me speaking to him about subjects and life itself… Then one day, while I was going to his class, I accidently stepped on a record book of his and I walked off because I never knew I had stepped on it in the first place, and he followed me and yelled at me for it. Me being very alarmed fought back and we both made quite a noise that day, which followed with loads of yelling and back talking. I just wished I knew what I’d done, if I’d known what was coming. The following week it just got worse for no reason. On a Friday evening while I was packing my bags to leave for the day, we had a week of vacation to follow and I saw him crossing my class, and I sinfully grinned and told to myself “I wish God never makes this mistake ever again” and that after a few days I get a call from my friend and the news was “He passed away in a train accident”….My heart sank with grief and I was left with a unattainable piece of wound which has stuck to me forever. I wished I had apologized to him, I wish I could hold his hand and say sorry. I wish I knew what was coming.

In life, some people leave with haste without even a bye – Wish them Anyway…

The Tale of Re-Hope

Another year had passed and I have now get a little clue of my path ahead and learn to be a little focused on life, but still that strange kiddish feeling of having fun and frolic was somehow still settled deep in my mind when I had someone knocking loud in my life all over again…One fine evening while I was at home I got a call from a strange number and a girl on the other side spoke so much, that after sometime I got into a feeling that she watched my every single step in college life, and this phone call followed for every single day for the next 60 days, and even then, I had no clue who she was, because she never told her name, and she had no idea in doing so… All she wanted was to let me know, that she is indeed mad after me and that I mean the whole world to her. After 2 months, I finally managed to find who this mystery girl really was… She was a junior of mine back in college, and with regards to culture, religion and character we were very much far within the reach of each other. But she came like a storm and she did knock me off my feet all of a sudden. I later found out from her friends that for her it was love at first sight, and I never knew a girl like her had so much of wild emotions running deep beyond her conservative Brahmin mind.

Every time I crossed her class, she would never stop looking, nor would she be guilty of doing so. I knew she was doing it with all her mind and her heart, because the ray of sight she flashed on me was quite difficult to ignore. Being a usual kind hearted being, I liked being loved and I told her that I liked being loved as well… I can’t figure out how much I had been pampered from that day forward. I’ve received over a 500 greeting cards, over a dozen toys, and more than 100 aircraft posters… All I needed to do was to show a liking towards something, that I liked. And in a few days it was in my hand in front of me… She was crazy behind me for a little attention and I for the first time felt what it was to be over loved.. !!

One day as I entered class, all the guys in my class were giving me strange looks and it was really giving me an unusual feeling that something has happened, and when I reach my bench, I see her standing and looking at my face smiling with a big box in one hand, and another on my table. I asked her what it was, she said “I’ve made U sweet Pongal from special home made ghee and here’s one for lunch, and there’s one to take home”… On hearing this the boys who sat next to me went nuts and ran outside like freaks. I and her sat inside the class to the look of a dozen of onlookers while I slowly ate that lovely dish which she made and I knew she waited till I finished just to hear that one word. I kept the last spoon and told her it was just amazing, and I saw her face light up like a bulb in seconds.

She always used to tell me that there was only one thing in life she wanted from me, and that was me to say the word “I Love You” to her. But till the last moments of our time together, I never said those few words, no matter how much I knew she loved it, because for some reason, I never sensed a time would come for me to say it.

She missed me a lot after I graduated from University and kept writing letters to me while I was in Canada and later after a few months, the letters stopped coming, and there was no news of her ever after. I never saw her, I never heard of her, and none of her friends knew where she was. She was gone and I wished I had a chance to say goodbye. I never did.

People come into your life and leave for no reason – Welcome them Anyway…

The Tale of Reality

I was in the final years of my University and now we got treated royally like seniors and nobody ever cared what we did, nor how we did it. The time to the exit gates was soon coming and I was driving a mad rush between life and reality by then. A lot had happened within those 4 years and a lot of me has changed from knowing what is love, hate, hope, trust & friendship. I was now stronger than anytime before and I knew for all these million memories I make, I will last stand with a few cherished memories and handful of trustworthy friends. Life had played its fair game on me, just like how it does to those billions of college going young teen’s world wide. From a carefree young teen who walked through these gates to a full fledged young adult who is now going to walk out, my life got itself into a worthy circle, a circle which I now admire and astonish within.

I wish to thank those few people who have loved me and never let me go in their lives.

From making friends, to falling in love, from black boards to cross roads, from bunking classes to writing arrears, from making relationships to loosing beings, University has been one of the most fulfilling journeys in my life and it has sure craved a way of who I am today. I look back on the path I’ve become, and it sometimes makes me cry on the mistakes have made while I walked those ways, the people I’ve hurt, the hearts I’ve crushed and the souls have I’ve unforgiven. I wish I can turn back time.

At last I understood: “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”

Give your best in Life, and it will never be enough – Give Your Best Anyway …

And a few good lines about the lives we live at University:

“There are few earthly things more beautiful than a university a place where those who hate ignorance may strive to know, where those who perceive truth may strive to make others see.”