As Random as Life

It was a lovely dusk breaking in the horizon of the sandy desert and I waved goodbye to the lovely people I met, conceiving within my mind, the spirit of the human kind is far beyond the reach of our understanding, and that goodness, like I always say, will come back to you, from where ever it may be. And all that you have to do is “Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”

A lot of times, there is this little piece of me which just wraps up itself and flies away to far off lands. No maps, no ideas, no landmarks. Just no points to drive you or to lead you. These are those places which just spring out of no where. You never get there, they come to you. It's to those places I always land myself in and it is in these places, I mystify on the values of life, its people and its reasons.

I don't know how many people know me well, but to the very few who do know, I have this habit to unwind myself into this timeless existence where for brief moments of my life, I disappear into this wilderness of the unknown. I just take my car and go where my mind takes me. There have been these numerous accounts of my life, where I have gotten lost, got devoid of matter mentally and have lost track of time.

But in these journeys, have learnt one thing. I have learnt that the world is filled with so much of things; things which we miss, those little things which we always for some reason thought never existed. As a child I was always told to look up to adults, and I've wasted so much time, looking up to all those elders that at this point, I don't know where I lost those little pieces of my childhood. They feel like as if they are gone forever. And now am into these deep abyss of routines where many of those little memories still feel faded away in from far off corner of my mind.

I have given up many, but still talking about those little pieces of silliness, yeah, that's something I always carry to myself. I have kept a piece of that child very much alive and kicking.

It was a drowsy weekend, I just had nothing to do and having been that efficient office maker, I had nothing pending in hand and back at home everything was neat and tidy. Time just wouldn't move the clock and I sat there in the couch looking at the clock ticking slowly by. After a period of time, I just couldn't warm anything anymore. I got up thinking, let me go to office and see what sitting in silence might look like.

I knew it was a wicked idea to do in a weekend, but being the second day of the holy month of Ramadan, I thought may be its a good idea to skim the city and see how its like to be out while everyone is busy with their own chores at home.

I flipped the key out of the stand and was on my way to my lovely little Toyota. With those opened windows and sizzling warm breeze I drove to the office. The whole office was empty and was having a serene silence wrapped all around it. I sat in my desk and put off some lovely music and checked up some emails and just closed my eyes and enjoyed this escaped silence which I have never known existed within this office.
And then all of a sudden this wild plan just sizzled up my mind for a minute.

Got up, flipped back my keys and enjoyed that moment of randomness which ran through my heart. Its a feeling you may not understand unless you let it seep in. Its like a feeling of random freedom, where you stop following your mind and follow your heart. I was back in the seat of my car, hopeless, careless and clueless.

Sometimes when your alone, often understand that being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is sometimes an achievement, it gives you that inner rhythm to do something alone, which otherwise you wouldn't do in the presence of other. Awake that little child and take him for a walk, see what he wants, buy what he needs and make him run free. When you set him free, you will know that life is beyond borders. Life is more !

By now, I have driven far off into the lands of Shwaib and I was close to a 100kms away from civilization, driving though unknown lands, without a map, without markers and with music on and windows down, I was just lost in this illusion of eternity. My mind was pondering over all what has been happening within this week, the deserts which were passing, those few green bushes which were zooming by and for a small instance I had a look at my speedometer and it was clocking 110kms.

While I enjoy these moments and drive by, all of a sudden, there is this huge noise of things all over me, running across, running behind, I get freaked out and look around me, and there are these mad camel herds running from all across the place on the road. For a minute I freaked out and slam the brakes in all of God's name and the car swivels in different corners and swears into the sides of the roads and brushes close to a bush near by, slamming into the little plant with a slight thud.

The dust settles down and I am looking around, from the windshield I see this big bush right out in front of me. Smoke coming from the bonnet and sounds of camels all around me. I take out my seat belt and before I could see from the window, there is this small dark figure looking into the window, checking if I was alive and kicking alright.


I come out and these two little shepherd men with a small smile, call out saying "Salaam, Kaifa Haloka?" meaning hows is everything, are you okay? I look around the car and say Ya, kind off ! They both look around the car and signal me that everything is okay. I check everything up and down and kind off felt that nothing much happened. I told them how dangerous it is for camels to run on the roads like this and they answer me saying "Camels don't have brains, they don't see signs; all they know is if they see water or if they see another girl on the other side, they just run mad" I just laugh off listening to their naive response and start to get inside the car, when one of the them stops me and says "Time is 6:57pm, it is time for Iftar. And for those who don't know what is a Iftar, it refers to the evening meal when Muslims break their fast during the Islamic month of Ramadan. Iftar is one of the religious observances of Ramadan. So I obliged and stood there looking at the lovely dusk breaking the horizon far and beyond. It was a such a moment, I cannot explain what it was because sometimes within a moment of chaos, emerges a moment of reconciliation, where you realize, this world of mass is made of goodness and emotions.


After a few minutes of prayer, they came back to me, and asked to sit down on a mat, and on that mat, they opened the tea containers and bread baskets which they had kept on top of one of the camels. They set fire on the dry bushes and heated the tea, and giving thanks to the almighty, we all broke the fast. Being in that moment I realized that life is random, its sometimes these random moments of helplessness that sometimes helps you find yourself, your values and most of all your inner self.

Yapping away to glory, talking about the growth of Dubai, the oil, the camels and all kind of silly things, placing my back on the little car bruited by the bushes, we 3 sat there talking and sipping in our hot Arabica tea. When life throws me out into the open, its at those times it makes me realize “When we have come to the edge of all light that we know And we're are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

Don't expect to land, learn to fly... Set yourself free, let your heart lead you to lands you haven't known, let yourself do what you've never done. Awaken that little child, let it play, let it run and let it fly !

It was a lovely dusk breaking in the horizon of the sandy desert and I waved goodbye to the lovely people I met, conceiving within my mind, the spirit of the human kind is far beyond the reach of our understanding, and that goodness, like I always say, will come back to you, from where ever it may be. And all that you have to do is “Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”

Comments

vall said…
such randomness yet so soothing and free..
Cloistervoices said…
Very thoughtful post! Food for thought and also some humor with the line "Camels don't have brains." Keep up the posts. I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate them.
Neela Rufus said…
Love your blog! I'm happy to follow you, you can visit my blog when you find time :)
http://kitchenista-welcometomykitchen.blogspot.com

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